Squall's wondrous studded belt
by ZilaAssanaDyre
Summary: Squffie/oneshot. One of Squall's belt blinded her, which in turn ended up humiliating her...she just stole it to torture it some. Now Squall has come to get his precious belt back, what sort of mayhem will ensue?


Disclaimer- I do not own Kingdom Heart's, or any of the character's in it.

I am ,however, a monkey who likes to fling poo at people. Okay so I'm not a mokey, but I do like to fling poo at people. Muaha, yes I am a very strange individual thank you...on with the story!

Squall's Wonderous Studded Belt

He was staring at her like he wanted to devour her again.

It wasn't like the please-allow-me-to-come-and-kiss-you-until-I-suck-your-soul-from-your-beautiful-body type of stare. No, she figured that it was more of a please-allow me-to-come-and-happily-stab-you-with-a-spork-until-you-die-an-extremely-humiliating-and-painful-death type of stare.

Why had he been staring at her like she was a heartless whom had taken his oh-so precious dalmatian puppies, and then used them as a satanic sacrifice to get a new tea set, ongoing two day's you ask?

Well she hadn't stolen anything from him if that's what you're thinking!

...snicker

Okay maybe ,on accident, by a strange coincidence,brainwashed by evil chocobos (evil I tell you!)... she had mistaken one of his _many _studded belt's as one of her headbands.

...OKAY!!!!! So she stole it,willingly, from his room. But he had so freaking many of those things, at least six. How many does one emo-type guy need?! It wasn't really her fault anyways, one day she had been looking at his butt...on accident! And then BLAMO! BOOM! SHABANG! She had been blinded by the stud's on the belt and,while flailing wildly about, had fallen into a fruit stand that pretty much exploded with her weight(she wasn't that fat was she? WAS SHE?!?!) which resulted in her getting a stern talking to by Aerith about "womanly elegance."

So in her shame, she had divulged a plan to get back at the belt that had made a mockery of her. She was only going to borrow it for a few hours in order to perhaps torture it into submission, and make it apologize. But then she had found she slightly liked the way it shone when it hit the light just right,which then turned into her trying it on. Surprisingly enough it looked pretty dang good on her, like it belonged on her bony hip's. She had turned to placing it just under her bra, under her short shirt, so he wouldn't see it on her. She figured he wouldn't notice _one_ of his belts missing, she would just stealthily place it back into his room when he wasn't looking...one day.

That was when the glaring had started. Well he usually glared at her, but she could tell he was glaring because he knew she had stolen one of his (six!) belts. It had started out with him throwing short, speculative glances her way and had turned into full blown Let's-see-how-long-it-will-take-to-burn-holes-into-her-face-with-just-my-eyes glares.

Why did he even think it was her in the first place? Sure she was, "Yuffie The Almighty Greatest Ninja Evar!" But COME ON, that was just rude since he had no evidence. She rolled her eyes, he was _so_ immature, he should just stop giving her death glares and come over and ask her if she had the belt or not. Not to say if he asked she would actually give it back, not with the attitude he was giving her!

She glanced angrily over in his direction, was he still glaring?

ARHG! Yes he was, with his stupid, beautiful grey eyes. Wait...did she just think that? Oh crapper doodles. She turned around and kicked the brick wall in her anger and when she felt the wall connect with her shoe, thus her shoe connecting rather hard with her toes, she cried out in pain and fell on the ground with a dramatic howl of pain.

She lay on the ground for a moment sniffling, and then remembered Squall was probably still glaring at her, and had most likely seen her act like an idiot (again..geez.) She immediately jumped up from where she had moments before been pouting, and stared wide eyed in the direction she had just seen him before possibly mortally wounding herself. When she saw he has vacated his spot she smiled in satisfaction that he had missed her acting like a poopy head again..haha poopy head.

She turned around, intent to return to her room to model her new belt in the mirror with maybe a mop to accompany her, when she ran straight into something that felt like a brick wall. It probably _was_ the brick wall she had just almost broken her whole entire foot on (it was out to murder her she just knew it!)

But wait...did brick wall's have wonderful, amazing abs of steel?? Noooo, she didn't think so.

She slowing looked up into Squall's smoldering grey eyes, and said the first thing that came to her mind."One time I tried to throw one of my shuriken at a moogle to see if they really are made of candy like Sora told me, and it almost bit my nose in half! It was Joe who did it, and you know he's a real piece of work, so when I finally pried him off my nose he yelled at me for 10 minutes straight! And then... " She realized she was rambling when he raised one of his eyebrows and started to tap his foot impatiently .

She stopped rambling off to Nowhere Town and waited to see if he would say anything instead. He waited for a few moment's to see if she was done talking, and then said with a slight smile, (yeah, smile of probable DEATH!)" Yuffie, why in the world would you believe anything that Sora says? He's almost always sugar high, the only things that come out of that child's mouth is nonsense."

She stared at him suspiciously, she had expected him to cut off her wonderful ninja head with his giant sword, not make small talk about her story. She figured he was now going to make her sweat and worry for awhile about it before actually doing the deed...oh that cruel, cruel man. Sexy as heck yes, but even crueler than Aerith while she's defending the color pink.

Well then if he wanted to play little games like these, than she would play _better_ than him. She would be like a bully on the playground burning ants with a magnifying glass in her intensity, she would be like a fat girl guarding her chocolate cake in her fierceness, she would jump on him and nibble at his ear and...Um, yeeeeeah.

She shook her head of that thought and readied herself for a fierce battle of wills; she would never tell him that she had his studded belt of awesomeness. "Well you know Squall, that's kinda how you are when you get mad, no one can listen to the nonsense that comes outta your mouth either. But I guess that would be all the time cause you're alway's mad about SOMETHING huh?"

Squall only narrowed his eyes at her, his lips twitched from barely concealed amusement. " Oh Yuffie, you only say that because you are obviously deeply in love with Sora, you both go _so_ well together after all. What with your insanity from you just being you, and him being insane from all his sugar highs. You know, I don't think his brain is all there, it can't be good to have so much sugar in one's body all the time. Yes, I expect it's a match made in...some kind of strange Heaven.

Yuffie clenched her teeth together, NO she would not let him know that he was pissing her off so bad!

"Aw is wittle Squallie maybe jealous at the thought of me with another man type boy person? Is that why he's being such a wittle baby?" She smirked, muahaha, let's see him get out of this without hurting his manly pride.

His eyes widened, and then he gave her the most wicked smile she had ever seen pass onto across his face. "So what if I am a tad bit jealous, what would you do about it? Make me feel better somehow?"He cocked his head to the side a bit as he contemplated her.

Her eyes practically bugged out of her head when he said this, she had definitely not expected this outcome.

"Umm...well you know, I could maybe...uheheheteehegigglegigglesnort."

AHHH..no she could not fall apart at the thought that he may like her..she was protecting the secret of her studded belt of glory after all. But when he started to slowly inch his way towards her with a strange glint in his eyes she lost all thought of the belt. She was either about to die a horrible death, or get thoroughly felt up..she really hoped it was the latter.

He placed the tips of his finger's gently upon the top of her shorts and whispered in her ear softly, "Yuffie, I really am curious about what you would do if I was jealous...do tell ." His finger's started to slowly slide up the sides of her stomach, she figured if he kept up with the whispering in her ear and the hand sliding thing, she would soon turn into The Great Ninja Yuffie Puddle.

She gulped when he reached the middle of her abdomen and started to trace small, random patterns with his fingers. "W..Well I guess ...giggle.. I would just sorta ...snort... tell you that I was maybe interested a tiny little bit of an amount as well"

She could feel his chest rumble when he chuckled at her response, she hadn't realized he had gotten so close! He kept rubbing her sides and replied, "Well I guess I'm glad I wouldn't get turned down by a tiny little bit of a chance."

Her eyes were starting to glaze over at his ministrations, did he notice? Oh maaaan..she didn't even care anymore what he thought as long as he kept doing that thing with his hand's. He kept going ever higher as he spoke, "You know, you are an okay ninja Yuffie, except for the fact that you've kept something that you have stolen; practically in plain sight." His hand's went even higher as he reached the bottom of her shirt, a few inches above her bellybutton. Her mind didn't even comprehend what he had just told her, she was too immersed in his hands.

Then she could feel his hand's go under her shirt and pull at something just below her bra. Oh my heck what is he doing so far up there?! She opened her eyes (when had she closed them again?) and looked down at what he was pulling at..wait, was it? OH CRAP!

She could feel his belt slide out from around her body, and back into it's true owner's hands. He held it up triumphantly in her face. " I _knew_ it was you, how could I not with it sticking out like that in your shirt?"

She stared at it with slowly building comprehension and then looked up at him angrily. "So what, all that was just to get your stupid belt back Squall?!"

He looked at her with something she couldn't define in his eyes and said, "Listen Yuffie, you stole my belt and I did what I had to do to get it back, I'm not going to say I'm sorry for anything I've done."

She looked at him with her mouth wide open, "What the freak, you just practically molested me so you could get your _belt_ back?!" He smirked at her incredulity and replied sarcastically with , "Well that was the general idea, yeah._" _

She could feel her teeth cry out in pain as she ground her teeth together, but she didn't care, he was such a meanie. She should take her shoes off now and just stab his eyes out with them, that idiot! "Listen," he explained, "I've known that you had stolen my belt the minute I found out it was gone, you left your sandwich you had been eating there for me to find."

She blinked and scoured her mind to remember this little fact...oh yeah that was right, she _had_ in fact set her tuna sandwich on his bed when she went to retrieve his belt. D'oh! She felt like such an idiot, amazing ninjas such as she did not leave evidence for people to find at the scene of any crime.

But that still didn't get him off the hook for feeling her up just to get a belt, even if the belt was nice and shiny. "I don't care Squall, you don't just do something like that to people when you want thing's back, this will probably traumatize me for life!" She pouted her lips and waited for him to apologize, or in the least, give her back the belt for his stupidness. But he just stared at her with his eyebrow's raised.

She stomped her foot on the ground in her agitation at his male lack of understanding, geez guy's really sucked when it came to girls feelings. "Squall...I just admitted that I kinda sorta in a small way LIKE YOU! That's cruel that you would get my hope's up like that." She bit her lower lip and tried to keep herself from roundhouse kicking him in the face.

He sighed and started to walk away at a slow, but even pace. Her mouth dropped practically on the ground as he just disregarded her feelings, oh she was definitely going to go knock him out now!

When he was about to turn the corner he stopped and buckled his belt back to his waist, and she was about to go knock his block off. He looked like he was going to start walking again but hesitated and glanced back at her seething, but still, form. He looked like he was holding back a smile when he said, "Well, I wouldn't want to break Sora's heart by being with you while he was also with you...so maybe if you guy's were to possibly break up...you and I might talk some more about this." And with that said he continued around the corner with a sly look on his face.

It took Yuffie a few minutes to actually figure out what he had told her, and when she did finally figure it out; she yelled after him, "But me and Sora never were going out though!!" But he was already long gone, most likely to his room to polish his lovely studded belt. She blinked at the corner where she had last seen him, had he really meant what she thought he did? But how would she get him to talk about this again? If she just went straight up to him and asked him, he would most likely act as thought nothing had happened, so how...?

If there had been anyone to witness it, they would most likely have seen what appeared to be a light bulb appear above Yuffie's head.

She would just have to steal something else off of him again! But what to steal? There was always those other five belts, but those were old news and he would find where she would put them fast. She pondered for a while and then grinned a grin that took over almost all of her face.

She had always been intrigued by those armband's he always wore, and she could also think of a few unique places she could put them, oh this would be soo much fun. "Muhahahahaha!!!!"

Yuffie's maniacal laughter could be heard throughout all of the Hollow Bastion that night. Even Squall, polishing his belt in his room could hear it. He felt a chill go up his spine when he heard it and got the urge to hide everything in his room somewhere safe, lest a crazy ninja girl steal something of his and do something strange and unnatural to it. It was going to be a long week, he could already tell by the screeching sounds getting closer and closer to his window.

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Hey All! I hope you enjoyed my story, it was my first Squffie so I hope it was as good for you as it was for me, hehehe. Please, please, please review!! I really want to know if this sucked or if it was good. Constructive criticism is also welcome.


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